I will not be told grief is a variant of love

clinging to the past

like sand grains cling to a beach

time pulls at me

wave after wave of grief

this is loss

heavy, deep, downward,

a sensation in the gut

of a scream being born that never makes it past the throat

a sensation in the chest inviting one to the floor

an impulse to contract hard enough to implode

a sensation of the tears dripping from the nose

gone with the next distraction

wave after wave after wave

grief isn’t love with nowhere to go

grief is not unreceived love

grief is grief and love is love

grief holds on, the resistance to letting go,

grief, ebb and flow

wave after wave

love goes unchanged

love exists regardless of time and space

love doesn’t hurt

missing things from the past hurts

separation from loved ones hurts

grief hurts, stop telling me grief is somehow love

grief is pain of holding unwanted truth

resistance, rejecting what is there,

no, it can not be this, no

grief is closed off, pulls like gravity

love is open, lifts the lowest spirit

the pain of attachment is not love

we grieve and we love at the same time

but they are not the same

I will not be told grief is a variant of love

Written 7/12/22 by Claire Moon